A Real Relationship
Disappointment. Disagreement. Out of sync. Out of touch. Lack of balance. Unfulfilled expectations. Unmet needs.
You probably do not associate these words with what happens in a good relationship. That is perfectly understandable. And yet, that’s exactly what happens in a real relationships that is successful.
· Many of us grew without watching a real relationship unfold day in and day out.
· Our main source of information about successful relationship comes from Hollywood movies that never show us the sequels to the ever after.
· We lead pretty isolated lives in spite our constant connectivity. We don’t have role models of successful relationships
· Our ideas about what happens are rooted in our imagination, not in reality.
In real relationships:
· We are disappointed
· We don’t get our needs met
· We can be out of touch and out of sync.
· There are some things on which we never agree
· Our partner may exhibit personality characteristics that we dislike.
In successful relationships the ups outweigh the downs. Periods of harmony follow tough transitions. Disagreements and unmet needs are dealt with. Empathy trumps hostility. Expectations get reconsidered, clarified, addressed yet again.
And of course, in a real successful relationship, we can repair and apologize, forgive and rebalance. And we do this with with respect. And patience. And acts of caring. And acceptance. And love.
Sara Schwarzbaum, LCPC, LMFT, Founder
Couples Counselng Associates
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