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Candy Marcum Counseling
Holidays 2018

Holidays have different meanings for people. Whether your meaning is one of joy or one of dread, your meaning is valid for you. During your life span, the meaning of Holidays will change. For me, I'm a lover of Holidays. I love to see them come--and I love to see them go! This year the Holidays are difficult for me. My 95 year old Mother died a month after Christmas last year. This is my first Holiday season without her. The Holiday traditions I've had for these last many years are now changed. I still love the Holidays, but have planned a different traditional venue and format for 2018.

I'm giving myself permission to experience the thoughts, memories and feelings I have. I want to be present for these and to be present for myself.      

My wish is for you to do the same for yourself. Have your Holiday experiences and be present for yourself too. 

In this ezine, I will write an article about Holiday Words. It made me happy to write and read all those words and their meaning. This article is long, so feel free to read at your leisure.

Included in this ezine will be a Dear Candy Letter about taking a risk around rejection.

If you have family or friends whom you think can benefit from this ezine, please forward it on to them.

Lastly, if  I can help you in any way, please contact me.  214-521-1278

Sincerely,

Candy


 

50 Awesome Holiday Words to Know This December

                      (Read as little or as much as you want!)

The holidays are upon us, and these winter celebrations with their many traditions each have a rich and varied vocabulary.

From Krampus to kinara, latke to plum pudding, frankincense to yule—there’s a whole host of fantastic holiday words to explore.

So broaden your lexicon and enter the holiday spirit with these fifty awesome holiday words!

1. Advent: A Latin word meaning “coming;” the Christian season of expectant waiting and preparation beginning four Sundays before Christmas.  2. Bauble: A small, decorative sphere hung from a Christmas tree.  3. Boxing Day: A British holiday celebrated the day after Christmas; traditionally when servants and tradespeople were given a “Christmas Box” by employers.  4. Carol: A festive song or hymn sung at Christmas.  5. Christmas: A religious and cultural festival celebrating Jesus Christ’s birth that is typically observed on December 25th. 6. Chimney: A hollow structure allowing smoke from an indoor fireplace to vent outside; also Santa Claus’s magical entryway into homes.  7. Dreidel: A four-sided top used by children to play a gambling game during Hanukkah.  8. Druid: A highly-educated priest or professional in the ancient Celtic cultures of Britain and Gaul.  9. Eggnog: An alcoholic drink made with cream, sugar, eggs, and distilled spirits.  10. Elves: Magical, pointy-eared creatures who build toys for well-behaved children.  11. Epiphany: A Christian feast day celebrated on January 6th, commemorating the Magi’s visit to the baby Jesus.  12. Father Christmas: The English personification of Christmas, now synonymous with Santa Claus.  13. Feliz Navidad: A Spanish phrase meaning “Happy Christmas.”  14. Frankincense: An incense symbolizing holiness.  15. Gingerbread: A cookie made with molasses and ginger.  16. Grinch:A grouchy spoilsport who doesn’t enjoy Christmas.   17. Hanukkah: The eight-day “festival of lights” commemorating the rededication of the Jewish temple around 200 B.C. The holiday is celebrated by lighting candles, eating fried foods, playing games, and giving gifts.  18. Holly: An evergreen bush with red berries and prickly leaves used as winter holiday decoration in pagan and Christian traditions.  19. Immanuel: A Hebrew name meaning “God with us.”  20. Jolly: Cheerful and good-humored.  21. Kinara: A candle holder for the seven candles lit during Kwanzaa.  22. Krampus: A half-goat half-demon character of European folklore who punishes misbehaving children during Christmas.  23. Kwanzaa: A seven-day festival celebrating African American cultural heritage, created by Dr. Maulana Karenga in 1966. Festivities include candle lighting, singing, storytelling, poetry reading, and feasting.  24. Lapland: A region in Finland rumored to be where Santa Claus lives.  25. Latkes: Pancakes made of grated potato, fried in oil, and served during Hanukkah.  26. Magi: The Zoroastrian priests of ancient Persia. According to tradition, three of these “wise men” visited the infant Jesus.  27. Manger: An open box or trough holding food for livestock.  28. Mele Kalikimaka: A phonetic translation of “Merry Christmas” into the Hawaiian language.  29. Menorah: A nine-branched candelabrum used during Hanukkah.  30. Miracle: An extraordinary and welcome event, unexplainable by scientific laws.  31. Mistletoe: A parasitic plant with white berries, hung from doorways as a Christmas decoration. People are expected to kiss when standing beneath it.  32. Mittens: Gloves with one opening for the thumb and another for the four fingers.  33. Myrrh: A fragrant oil symbolizing suffering and mortality.  34. Nativity: The place and conditions of a birth; commonly used to refer to the birth of Jesus.  35. Naughty: Badly-behaved. “Naughty” children traditionally received coal from Santa Claus instead of presents.  36. Noel: “The Christmas season”; derived from Old French.  37. North Pole: Believed by many Westerners to be Santa Claus’s home.  38. Nutcracker: A device used to crack open the shells of nuts.  39. Plum Pudding: A steamed Christmas cake resembling a cannonball, filled with dried fruit.  40. Poinsettia: A Mexican shrub first used as a Christmas decoration by Franciscan friars in the 17th century.  41. Santa Claus: A mythical, white-bearded man clad in red who delivers presents to well-behaved children on Christmas Eve; based on legends of the historic Saint Nicholas’s generosity.  42. Sleigh: A sled typically pulled by horses or reindeer.  43. Stocking: A long sock, traditionally filled with small Christmas gifts.  44. Tidings: Breaking news.  45. Tinsel: Slender strips of shiny metallic foil used as Christmas decorations.  46. Toboggan: A long, wooden sled used to coast down snow-covered hills.  47. Wassail: A hot, spiced cider drink, traditionally served to poor carolers by their wealthy neighbors.  48. Winter Solstice: The first day of winter and shortest day of the year (in the Northern Hemisphere).  49. Wreath: A circular arrangement of greenery or flowers.  50. Yule: A pagan festival celebrating rebirth and renewal, held on the winter solstice.

 

"Dear Candy"                      
Dear Candy,
 
I'm currently 21 years old and I am frustratingly sexually confused.  At the age of 16, I decided that i must be gay.  I mean, I had no sexual interest in girls, but i love cute and girly things.  So, everyone i know now knows me as a gay guy.  I just don't know anymore.  I think girls are pretty, but I haven't met many that aren't psychos in some way.  And I have little desire to have sex with a female.  Boobies are great and all for resting on and such, but the sexual desire isn't there; it would be cuddling if anything. 

As for guys, I can see myself having sex with a guy.  The physical attraction is there, but I don't think I'm promiscuous enough to keep up with them (by that, i mean that every gay guy that I've come into contact with really gets around).  That, and guys can be real jerks.  So, I guess I lust after the guys, but I love the girls if that makes any sense at all.  Any help in pointing me in a direction would be great.
 
Sincerely,
 
Confused and Frustrated
 
Dear Confused and Frustrated,
 
It sounds to me as if you would like to have a “risk free” dating and sexual experience. There is always some risk of getting hurt when connecting sexually or romantically with another person. The risk of rejection is always there. I can see you trying to protect yourself by saying “All gay guys are either promiscuous or jerks”. Telling yourself this stops you from dating guys. You think you can lessen the risk by connecting to someone with whom you are not really sexually attracted.  Hanging out with girls will be fun, but it will only be about friendship. For you, the attraction there is purely platonic.

You are at the age to start taking more mature risks. This does not mean you have to compromise your morals or values, but it does mean you need to rethink your position that all gay men are heartless. After all, you cannot be the only good gay man around. Open your eyes and mind. Take some risks. Start dating men.
 

Good luck!

Candy


Send a Dear Candy email to Candy and she'll answer your question here in this E-Zine. It will be of interest to readers. Send it to: Candy@CandyMarcum.com  In the subject line write: Dear Candy. Your personal identity will be anonymous.

 Candy Marcum has been counseling, training, writing, supervising and advising people since 1981. She has a special way of touching people's lives that positively transforms them. Her passion, professionalism, enthusiasm and people skills have helped guide her in her life's work as a healer.    www.candymarcum.com
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