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    Stonewall Stories
The Renewal That Is Spring

As Winter leaves for another year, Spring has started to come to life. This renewal is not only for floral and fauna but also for humans as well.

For me, it's time to break out the clubs to see if I can still get in a round of golf without completely humiliating myself! I'm hoping to get out more often on the golf course with old friends and new.

In April, my partner, Carolyn, and I will go to Waco to attend my sister and brother-in-law's annual Craw-fish Boil. We look forward to this every Spring. We've been attending this event for over 20 years.

When Mother's Day rolls around in May, Carolyn and I go to Houston, TX to celebrate with my Mother and her sister and daughter. We have been hosting this Day for over 20 years too. Because these women are in their 90's, we are filled with gratitude to be able to spend another year with them for Mother's Day.

In this ezine, I will be informing you of a special concert that has a unique  panel discussion on Suicide Awareness. Among other professionals serving on the panel will be Chris-James Cognetta, LPC-Intern (Supervised by Candice Marcum, LPC-S) and me.

I will write an article about what questions to discuss with your fiancé prior to tying the knot. And, if you're already married, it's never to late to communicate about these topics too.

Included in this ezine will be a Dear Candy Letter about friends.

If you have family or friends whom you think can benefit from this ezine, please forward it on to them.

Lastly, if Stonewall Behavioral Health or I can help you in any way, please contact us.  214-521-1278



Pre-Marriage Questions List

The success or failure of your marriage relationship depends on how well you handle a number of personal issues. Review these questions with your partner. As you can see, there are many more questions that can be asked under each heading.

Relationship Goals & Personal Habits
  • Why are we getting married?
  • What do we as a couple want out of life?
  • Can we talk about money?
  • Are you a saver or spender when it comes to money?
  • Do you want to have children?
  • Do we want to have children?
Sex & Intimacy
  • Can we talk about sex?
  • Should we talk about sex?
Conflict & Communication
  • How will we make decisions together?
  • Are we both willing to face into difficult areas or do we try to avoid conflict?
Turtle Creek Chorale Concert With a Pre-Concert Panel on Suicide Awareness

"Dear Candy"       
Dear Candy,

 A dear friend broke up with her longtime GF about 2 months ago. She is already introducing a new gal as her "partner" and is planning to get married. I see this as a wreck about to happen but am at a loss as to how to slow the train. I don't want to rain on her happiness and the new gal seems nice enough, but 2 months? Please!!! Other than refer them to you for the couples communication course (which, by the way, we did a few year ago and still use), what else can I do?
Signed, -sideline supporter

Dear Supporter,

Your letter reminds me of the phenomenon of how our eyesight is so much sharper when looking at how someone else lives their lives than how we live our own life. Your friend's story is not only a perspective of self knowing, but also the perspective of:
  •  Fear of never finding love again
  •  Fear of being alone
  •  Pain of a break up
  •  Shame of a failed relationship
  •  Desperation to fill the void within

Yes, I agree your friend could use more time to gain perspective not only on her new romance, but also on how vulnerable she is two months out from a break up. Also I believe it would be appropriate for you to ask your friend to give herself time prior to making such an important commitment. If done from a perspective of love, she will understand your motivation. She will do what she's going to do. You will be supportive of her choices because you are her friend.

Good luck!


Send a Dear Candy email to Candy and she'll answer your question here in this E-Zine. It will be of interest to Stonewall Stories readers. Send it to:  In the subject line write: Dear Candy. Your personal identity will be anonymous.

 Stonewall Behavioral Health (SBH) was established in 1983 to meet the emotional and mental health needs of the GLBT Community of North Texas. Since that time, SBH has met and continues to meet the needs of its stakeholders by providing: professional counseling, supervision for professional licensure in counseling, trainings and workshops in communication for organizations/individuals and being a source of speakers and writers. Our expertise is historically bound to the gay/lesbian/bi/transgender movement and beyond. As an organization, we continue to grow, learn and teach.
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