One of my husband’s favorite stories to tell/points to make in our “Reaching the Heart of Your Teen” seminar/workshop is also the most fitting way to describe his parenting style. The story comes from the book of II Samuel and the point is found within the story of Absalom standing by the gate of the city:

“And Absalom rose up early, and stood beside the way of the gate: and it was so, that when any man that had a controversy came to the king for judgment, then Absalom called unto him, and said, Of what city art thou? And he said, Thy servant is of one of the tribes of Israel.

And Absalom said unto him, See, thy matters are good and right; but there is no man deputed of the king to hear thee.

Absalom said moreover, Oh that I were made judge in the land, that every man which hath any suit or cause might come unto me, and I would do him justice!

And it was so, that when any man came nigh to him to do him obeisance, he put forth his hand, and took him, and kissed him.

And on this manner did Absalom to all Israel that came to the king for judgment: so Absalom stole the hearts of the men of Israel.”

In case you missed how that passage is related to parenting in general and parenting teens specifically (it’s easy to miss), let me point out two specific parts of the story that are relevant to our message to fathers today.

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When I first began home schooling thirty years ago, I had just graduated with an elementary education degree. I had a one-year-old son, and we began home schooling my younger sister. Of course, coming right out of teacher’s college, I began doing things just like I would have done in my classroom. I soon discovered that all of the classroom things were not necessary – that those things were needed for mass education but not necessarily for one-on-one tutoring (or even small group instruction).

Even after discovering this, however, I still had this urge to be a “teacher.” That is, I was always drawn to materials that were teacher-intensive. I love teaching! And I still do. But by the time I had my third child in school, with a preschooler, toddler, and baby, I was teaching eight and ten hours a day. Something had to change.

It was then that I discovered many independent curriculum items for my children. We had already been using Geo Safari, a computerized laptop type of game that taught and quizzed the children on geography, history, art, and much more. I began using a lot of other less teacher-intensive items. I developed independent work lists for each child based on each one’s age and level. These independent work lists had checklists for each day that the children could do without my input, such as the aforementioned Geo Safari, Calculadders math drill sheets, Mathsafari, educational coloring books, and much more.
 

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