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Paintings and Musings
901-1000. Soulwork.

After more than three years of daily painting, I'm planning a new and bigger crazy project in the spring. So that means I'll take a hiatus from the daily painting project after my 1000th painting in January.

This project has had many layers, so it's only fitting that I paint it in an entirely new medium. Encaustic paintings are created with dozens of layers of hot wax. It's a slower process, and requires a little patience. It's the perfect way to reflect on the soulwork that has happened throughout this project over the past three and a half years.

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911. Trust yourself. 

Throughout this new series, I'm going to share some of the lessons I've learned over the past three and a half years with this project. For details about my new medium and a few other important details, check out the sidebar on the left.

Yesterday some friends and I were talking about how there are some things that you think you've figured out and suddenly you're right back in the middle of a lesson you thought you'd learned.

For me that lesson is trusting myself.

So many of the messages I absorbed in the past were about ignoring my own intuition or feelings about things. Somehow I managed to give away all my authority and forgot to rely on my own ideas or God-given sense.

Hell, I couldn't even decide what I wanted for dinner most nights. "I don't know, hon. What do you want?" It drove Chris crazy.

At some point, it started driving me crazy, too. Because I'd spent so much time trying to please other people, I'd forgotten how to figure out what I wanted. I felt like the Ugly Duckling-- shaped entirely by others' perceptions of who I was.

So I started painting. The small decisions about painting helped me find my way through to the bigger decisions about dinner, or even pointing the way toward bigger dreams.

I bought a necklace this summer that's stamped with a quote from Goethe:

"Just trust yourself, then you will know how to live."

I added a new technique today. First, I used a sumi brush with orange ink to sketch out this swan on very thin handmade paper. Then I painted the background with wax like normal, and while the wax was still soft I added the swan drawing. Finally there's a thicker layer of clear wax on the top, which I then melted back until it was smooth and the paper was completely covered.

See the result here. 


911: Trust Yourself. 6x8 Wax on Panel. $115

P.S. As promised, you can find details about Indie Kindred screening in Seattle on September 9-- I'd love to see you there! Portland screening coming soon.

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Jolie Guillebeau
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Portland, Oregon 97214

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