My on-going fantasy is to take a significant portion of time and just live by the dictates of my impulses doing whatever my heart desires in each moment. Options for me could include taking naps, staring off into space, sitting under a tree, eating ice cream, going for hikes, reading novels and being only responsive to what makes my heart sing.
It seems that weekends don't provide me with this opportunity. They are usually filled with catch-up activities from the previous week and preparation for the following week with social obligations sandwiched in-between. Taking time away from my business and social calendar seems so indulgent and irresponsible. I feel I could do it only with some kind of divine permission. So, included in this fantasy is a large booming voice from the Cosmos saying,
"Take some time off, and do nothing but have fun!"
And if hearing the "voice of God" wasn't enough, I would also request a burning bush and a clap of thunder.
Why is it so hard to take a break? Why do I tend to either fill every moment with activities or spend free moments telling myself what I should be doing? I know I am not alone. When I ask people how they are and what they are up to their replies are often, "I am so busy". My response is similar, and I admit it feels good to say it. I often feel a greater sense of self-worth. It is as if the state of "doing" (i.e. tangible productivity) somehow increases my status of "being". It seems I need to justify my life by showing people my visible productivity. The recent Autumn Equinox reminded me to find balance and to value "productive doing" alongside "spontaneous being".
I am coming to understand that productivity isn't always visible and the "voice of God" isn't usually booming. It can be quiet and speak through the heart. Sometimes, taking time to sit and stare at the clouds, for instance, is just what we need in order to "hear" this voice. Instead of doing the dishes; going for a hike, some other form of recreational movement or peaceful stillness may bring us the inspiration we need for our next project. The person we meet while buying our ice cream cone may be carrying a message for us or vice versa. Messages, magic and miracles surround us when we aren't too busy to notice. Perhaps we just need the time and space to receive them. If taking free time is a new concept for you, I suggest starting with a minimum of thirty minutes each day and two hours on the weekend to turn off the "should" voice and ask your heart what it truly wants to do. Set judgments aside, and just go do/be it. By following your heart you may find yourself working smarter instead of harder, and it may not feel like work at all.