Building Our Children's
Self-Esteem (Part 2)
This week we're picking back up with the remaining two tips for building self-esteem in our children.
Let's be encouraged as we go through these topics as parents and dig deeper in God's Word to learn how to train and teach the next generation.
BUILDING SELF ESTEEM IN OUR CHILDREN
2) Be Willing To Get Involved With Your Child.
I can't emphasize this enough.
Proverbs 27:17 says: Iron sharpeneth iron; so man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend.
If I am not involved with my children, I have no idea what is going on in their lives. My conversation with them would then become very shallow, with me asking some question like, " How did school go?" I will have no idea if I don't even know what subjects they are taking.
I wonder how many parents do that. The conversation might go something like this:
"How did it go today?" the parent asks.
"Pretty good," the child responds.
The conversation quickly ends with the parent saying simply, "That's good."
Parents like this don't have any idea what their kids are doing, what subjects they are taking, which teachers they have or who they are friends with.
When we get and stay involved with our children we can talk to our kids about serious things because they know we love them.
(For most people, love is spelled T-I-M-E.)
Despite numerous mistakes, the best thing we can do is just to plainly be there for them. When you can't be there physically, then make sure they know you are there mentally by calling or following up with them.
When I talk to my kids, because I have a relationship with them, I can get specific. As the Scripture says, I am like iron sharpening iron. By being specific, I am helping them and they know that. I am not just flapping my gums and blowing hot air.
If I never spent time with them, I wouldn't really know them. The same is true with my wife. If I didn't spend time wither her, I wouldn't know her either. Even after 40 years of marriage, I still spend time getting to know her.
Relationship is the key. You really can't practice stewardship until you have established relationship.
3) Help Your Children To Reflect On Things.
This is how to make your child feel better about himself. It says in Proverbs, "As in water, face reflects face, so the heart of man reflects man." (See Prov. 27:19.)
Take some time to sit down and talk with your children. It might only be for five or ten minutes, but it can be well worth it.
As parents, we sometimes need to remind our children about the things God does for us. That's what God did with Israel. After doing something big, He would say, "Pile up some rocks right here; I want you to remember what I did for you." Then He had them to look back at the things He had done for them during certain momentous times.
Sometimes when things get tough and one of my kids is going through a trial, I have to make him or her sit down and think for a minute. I say:
"Look, we've been through things before and other people have been through them too. Now let's sit down and think about this. It's just not that being of a deal, so don't let it get you down. God has brought you out before and He can do it again."
By doing this, you are teaching them to encourage themselves in the Lord.
We don't want our children to lose their joy for life, so we've got to become a big cheerleader.
The best way to become a "cheerleader" is to share Scripture with them. By "cheerleader," I don't mean just buttering them up and telling them that they can do no wrong. I mean sharing the Word with them, so that they will know where their true value is, what they have available to them in Christ and what God says about them. It doesn't have to be in the form of a lengthy Bible study - it can be 30 seconds in the morning before school.
You can tell them:
"Remember, you are the head and not the tail; you are above and not beneath. You have the mind of Christ and the wisdom of God. You are quick to hear and quick to be obedient to the Word and I believe that everything you set your hand to today is going to prosper."
Here is a great list of Scriptures to help encourage yourself and your children using the Word.