Copy
A new technique for owning your mistakes
Open this email in your browser
Dolly Chugh

The path to becoming better people

By Helen Walters
Head of curation, TED

Right after I watched Dolly Chugh's extraordinary talk, I had a moment. I'll spare you the details, but suffice it to say, it did not make me look or feel like a good person. Essentially, I misread a situation, handled it poorly, and then, a few minutes later when I realized that I'd handled it poorly, I was flooded with bad feelings.

"Wow, did I mess up!"

"Coo, I'm some kind of terrible."

Etc, etc. 

All need for a good therapist aside, if this had happened before Dolly's talk, it might well have been where I'd left it. I'd have languished for a little while and then moved on, never quite shaking that feeling of messing up, of not being good enough. 

But because I had just seen Dolly's talk, I now had a new technique at my disposal -- and the knowledge that my attachment to being a "good" person could be holding me back from actually becoming a better person. That meant that as soon as I realized that I'd messed up, and when I got an opportunity to come clean and confess my mess ... I took it. I didn't hem or haw or try to justify myself. I just apologized, made a mental note not to repeat said error -- you know, ever again -- and then moved on with a clear head and heart. 

Honestly. It was weird. It was also life-changing. 

I'm so, so grateful to get to experiment with this new technique for the rest of time. Because, as Dolly says, "The path to being better people just begins with letting go of being a good person." 

Revelatory.

Watch "How to let go of being a ''good' person -- and become a better person"
Was this email forwarded to you? Subscribe for free
View "The Big Idea" archive

BUSINESS INSIGHTS FROM BRIGHTLINE

Interpersonal relationships

People form the links of everything, especially the links between ideas and action. And relationships are essential for people to form such links. We build relationships with family, with neighbors, with friends, with teams and people in our organizations. Growth of relationships is a key success factor of one's life. When cultivating relationships, don't forget to look outside! Look for people who are outside of your usual social circles, who have a different set of skills or talents than you or your friends. In the business setting, be sure to look outside of your own organization and understand the needs of competitors, customers and the market landscape. Advantage in the market flows to those who excel at gaining new insights from an ever-changing business environment and quickly responding with the right decisions and adjustments to new ideas and actions.

Learn more about the Brightline Initiative

Copyright © 2018 TED Talks, All rights reserved. We love you.


Cancel your subscription    Change your email preferences 
TED logo