In a world that’s obsessed with goal setting, to-do lists and productivity hacks, how do you stop pushing yourself and surrender to the flow?
I didn’t think I knew, but when I started preparing for an event about this that I co-hosted with the Joypreneurs last Monday, I realized I have a lot to say about this.
So naturally, I wanted to share this with you as well.🤩
For me, the transition from pushing myself to live up to societal standards, to trusting the natural flow of life did not exactly come easy, as you might have seen in my video’s about my bore-out and my resistance to becoming a trophy wife😬
Here are a few things that have helped me:
WHAT MATTERS TO YOU?
When we are busy being busy, we tend to lose track of the fact that we are mere mortals with a short life span, and that getting through our to-do list isn’t what ultimately matters.
The 5 most common regrets of the dying (according to Bronnie Ware’s famous book) help me to focus on what matters:
I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.
I wish I had the courage to express my feelings.
I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
I wish I had let myself be happier.
That’s right, none of them regretted not working harder or making more money.
So zoom out, and take a moment every day, or at least every week to regularly check in with yourself to see what really matters to you, and how you can focus your energy there, rather than on what others expect you to do.
LET GO OF CONTROL
Do you know how I found the love of my life?💕By doing absolutely nothing. Often, that’s the hardest thing to do when we really want something.
My initial response when I felt ready for love again after ending a relationship of 11 years was to start dating like a maniac. But meeting all these men was exhausting.
So after 1.5 years I quit dating, cold turkey.
Because I felt deep down inside that I would recognize my true love only when I stopped searching, and started trusting. So I became quiet. I let go of my expectations. I surrendered.
And six months later, there he was.
Or actually, my true love had been there all the time. I just didn’t realize it, because I was too busy dating other people.Surprise, surprise: my former intern turned out to be my true love🤭
I’ve been applying this 'trust approach' to more areas of my life, from health to friendships to family to where we live in this world. And I want more of it, especially in the way I do my business, as you can read in here.
Where in your life do you want to trust more? I’d love to hear from you!
Let me be brief about this: if you want to experience more flow, you need to prioritize rest. Sleep longer, and take naps during the day if you can.
It’s so much easier to see the bigger picture, be creative, prioritize what’s important over what others make you believe is urgent, and be optimistic when you’re well-rested.
Try it. And let me know how it goes.
Esther Janssen once told me that if you’re in a relationship with a woman, you are actually in a relationship with four different people - because that’s how different women can be throughout their cycle.
To access more flow in your work, it can be very helpful to (as much as you can) plan activities according to where you are in your natural cycle.
You might notice that there are certain days where you are more energetic and social - which typically is related to ovulation, full moon and summer. There are also times where you are more introverted and contemplative - typical for menstruation, new moon or winter.
I don’t have a menstrual cycle due to my Nexplanon, but I’ve started to track my mental and physical state to see if there’s a pattern. Happy to keep you posted if you’re interested 🤓
WHAT DO YOU WANT?
Do you tend to share your deepest desires with others? The things that you long to create, experience, or have?
No, me neither.
But somehow, whenever I do say things out loud, it is as if I’m magically one big step closer to realizing them.
I said to my husband that I wanted to find a business partner in Zurich, a city where I knew no-one, and two months later I found Nele.
I told my coach that I wanted to expand my mission to more corporate clients in 2022, and I’ve got some very exciting things lined up (more about that later).
And you might remember that I even started this newsletter (that I wanted to start for a long time) because I expressed my desire to write more to a few of you.
What are your dreams and desires? I’d love to know!