"In any moment of decision, 

the best thing you can do is the right thing, 

the next best thing is the wrong thing, and 

the worst thing you can do is nothing." 

-- Teddy Roosevelt

Have you ever herded horses?

Yeah, me neither... until last week. 

Stepping into a large ring, enclosed by 15 foot-high walls, I am supposed to demonstrate to this large, unbridled horse that I am a safe leader.  Kind of intimidating.

And when he's clear that I'm a safe leader, he will just start following me. 

How might one show a horse that one is an awesome leader? 

Through actions -- making motions that signal "run" around the ring, at different speeds, and indicating clearly which direction to go -- and through maintaining a calm state of being.

And, after just a few minutes of making the motions and trying to maintain serenity, to my amazement, following me is exactly what the horse did -- sort of. 

When the horse suddenly started walking behind me, I freaked out a little bit. I thought, "I don't know where to walk because I don't know where the horse wants to go."

And, at that instant, the horse walked away from me. 

Ah. Interesting. 
 

Leading. 

It actually doesn't matter what the horse wants. I get to decide where I want to go, and the horse is free to choose to join me, or decide he's not interested. He decides what he wants, and it's my job to choose what I want.

It's also my job to be fine whether he chooses to come with -- or not -- and not be offended either way.

(Aside for Singletons: This is also the best state of mind in the universe for getting 10 first dates in as many days.)

Deciding what YOU want. CRUCIAL.

When I'm indecisive, or worried about what the horse wants, it's no longer safe for the horse to follow me. 

Because, in the wild, a leader who doesn't take swift action threatens the safety of the herd when, say, a mountain lion is approaching.  

When I'm indecisive, horses don't trust me. I'm not safe to follow when I don't commit to a decision -- and the same goes for you in your life. 

Where are you an unsafe leader for you? 

Where are you, still, just not making a decision? 

Did you know that even the wrong decision is better than no decision.  

No decision means not getting what you want, and instead getting whatever other people feel like giving you. 

And you know what other people have planned for you? Not very much.

First Secret to Life: Your entire life can be lead by you -- and only you. 

Just like with the horse.  But, you can't lead your own life until you decide what you want (a.k.a., where you're leading it).

Notice I said "decide what you want", not "know what you want". Sometimes, you've just got to make a decision, even if it's a shot in the dark.

One moment, one decision.

You know that one area in your life where you're just not making a decision?

Right now, decide.  Decide to find a career you actually enjoy. Decide to commit to the job you're in. Decide to start the side business you've always wanted to start.

Once you decide what you want (with your job, with your health, in your love life), put in the least amount of energy necessary to lead it in this direction.

Second Secret to Life: Once you choose, it's your energy, baby.

The least amount of energy necessary is the second secret to making what you want happen.  You have a volume control, just like a stereo, but it's tapped into your intensity and focus.

I was working with one light brown horse, and my natural volume (voice, actions, state of mind) was too "loud" and the horse sprinted away the moment I stepped into the ring. I had to turn my volume down to get the milder response I wanted from the horse.

With a black horse, I stepped into the ring and motioned for her to run, and she just stood there, blinking at me. Time to turn my volume up.

Yes, it's that simple.

The hard part? Refraining from complicating things -- the Curse of Knowledge can keep you stuck in your slippers instead of out there, making decisions that are youifying your life.

But the wonderful, perfect saving grace of it all is that, at any second, you can turn it all around by making just one decision. 

Like, for instance, right now.